“In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.”
~ Genesis 1:1
To hear a human tell it, you’d think it was The Beginning… but what do humans know?
Truthfully, the heavens and earth were created because Samson had spent entirely too long waiting for his lunch.
You see, the omnipotent Creator – to Whom Creation itself is attributed – dwelt with a black and white tomcat named Samson.
Samson was well-mannered. He didn’t spray the edges of the universe (which would be gross, considering the lack of gravity), nor did he attack Jehovah’s wiggling toes while He rested, and he even refrained from sharpening his claws on the Throne of Judgement… although he did shed a few hairs upon it, but that was to be expected from such a fluff ball as Sam.
Samson was also patient and longsuffering, which served him well as the Pet of God… since his Master was usually busy in business meetings with angel investors, and seldom remembered to feed poor Samson.
One day, God left early for work and forgot to fill Samson’s breakfast bowl… and when lunchtime passed and He hadn’t returned, Samson became very irritable and extremely hungry.
So He escaped through a wormhole that the Lord had accidentally left open, and off he went in search of food.Read More»
I’ve been meaning to spruce up my various online profiles with a new bio… but describing myself in a few succinct paragraphs, while still maintaining the essence of an active imagination and cat obsession, has proven difficult.
How does one talk about oneself without sounding either egotistical or self-abasing?
I have a dozen pages lying around with various scribbled intro lines…
“She was raised in an ordinary neighborhood, lived in a cookie-cutter Levittown house, and wore a plaid uniform to school everyday.
But lurking inside was a spirit far from ordinary or cookie-cutter. And her expressions were anything but plaid and uniform….”
See what I’m struggling with?!? ROFL!
While searching for Regency picnic scenes on Google, with a vague an idea for a “Welcome” door-hanging decoration *wink* ~ I came across this portrait photographer’s blog.
Now Kamee June has absolutely nothing to do with Jane Austen or Regency, but one of her wedding shoots was tagged thus, I suppose for it’s vintage, cottage chic theme.
I loved her talent with the camera… but I loved her bio page even more:
“i love the look of a man totally devoted to one woman because she completes his heart. i love the look of unexpected surprises… the look of christmas morning, the look of family, the look of mothers drinking in their new babies, the look of unspoken yet powerfully present love. …the presence of life and its undeniably endearing moments, and i love immortalizing them forever with my camera.”
Her charming poetic style not only describes herself vividly, but also gives potential clients the assurance that she “gets” what they want; she will capture those priceless looks forever on film.
Not to mention, her SEO keywords were sprinkled cleverly throughout the text. ;)
I was deeply impressed, instantly inspired, and just a teensy bit jealous.
If she wrote it entirely by herself, you might not even recognize me standing beside the Dracaenas. Hint: I’m the green leaf wearing a faded T-shirt and dark grey pants.
In a word, her bio was ‘brilliant’.
And it made me realize that my bio should speak to people, not just at them.
And lo, an idea was conceived… and was born on Friday.
It was based on the premise that… “I see Cat People”.
Borrowed from one of my blog posts, it’s a title that cracked up my friends (and I’ll admit, I thought it was pretty cute, too). :)
The poem itself hasn’t been named yet ~ you might want to help me with that, as I’m creatively drained from struggling with rhymes and rhythm.
For all its flaws and cheesy metaphors, I’m calling it finished.
But I’ll give you an insider’s glimpse at some of the alternate lines and phrases which didn’t make final cut. ;)