Humor (off-beat)


Revelations from a Dressing Room

Although having three children has made me feel like a responsible parent, it wasn’t until I experienced the literal transformation of my body – in the dressing-room, trying on attire from the women’s dept. – that I felt like a true Grown-Up! And I was estastic!
I wanted to prance down the street, singing “I have hips! And boobs! Real ones, that sag and everything! Isn’t it great?!”

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Brought to You by the Symbol &amp

Everyone has probably encountered the computer’s annoying habit of translating our sentences into mangled messes of ampersands and semi-colons. Sometimes when I cut-n-paste an HTML into a text editor, or switch my post default from HTML in the WordPress dashboard… I’ll wind up with a quote "that looks like this".
Note: WordPress automatically translated it back into quotes… making me look like the blathering idiot who Twittered “I hate typing & instead of &” until I actually typed “amp;” … I swear to choke something. ;)

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Growing a Rainforest?

Everyone is so obsessed with reading the soup labels, looking for that evil MSG, sodium, and trans-fat, perhaps they should start making their soups from scratch and forget preserved canned food altogether. But I personally like how men can blow $100 on groceries and come home with nothing except snacks. ;)

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Puff the Magic Dress

I don’t buy “themed” merchandise usually. My mother gave me Rudolph the Reindeer pajamas one Christmas, and I wear them throughout the year… because they’re comfortable and I can’t stand the idea of a decent pair of unworn PJs taking up valuable space in my lingerie drawer.

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My Name is Peter, and I’m an Ailurophobic

Lydia once asked why the Easter bunny didn’t visit our house, after discovering Mom’s stash of candy for last minute basket stuffing… I informed her that Peter
Cottontail was afraid of our cats, who always attempted to eat him whenever he appeared. He quit coming to our house awhile ago, but I didn’t want to disappoint her on Easter morning, so I created my own baskets in hopes that she wouldn’t notice his absence. :P

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Happy Birthday Jesus, Mia, and…

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or some other variation… most of these inspirational stories center around “making do” with God’s provisions and acknowledging your blessings. I can’t find a single Yuletide tale that gives people the allowance to act like jerks and obsess over sauerkraut.

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Where, Oh Where, is My Hair?

I am a self-proclaimed commitment-phobe; many former boyfriends, bosses, and landlords would agree with me. If a relationship doesn’t seem to be working, I quickly jump ship rather the risk …

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