Humor (off-beat)

Jane Austen and I Chat About the Super Bowl

“I have not had the pleasure of understanding football.” – Writershouses on Twitter
Whenever the Super Bowl rears its ugly head, Joe and I lock our doors, turn off all the lights, and hide in the hall closet… until the yellow and black banners slowly disappear like melting snow from windows and porches around our neighborhood.

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Naughty Google is Sitting in the Corner

TaraFly shares some of the crazy search terms people use to find her blog: “secret zombie outbreaks” and “vacuum cleaning nude”. Really, Google?!
And the Top 20 Posts to her Facebook Status: “TaraFly ate the blasted Bunny, but the candy came just the same.”

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Confessions of a Crazy Cat Artist: Part 1

I wonder what cats think about religion? See, cats supposedly do not have souls at all, and therefore do not have to worry about Hell and confessing mortal sins.
It is accepted that animals don’t even commit sins… although we cat owners would beg to differ.
Spitefulness is a sin, is it not? And my cats will puke in my shoe just to spite me.

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Yes, Virginia, I’m Having a Black Friday Sale

Black Friday madness is a disease that retail associates encounter with dread each year. Knowing what bloodthirsty monsters lurk outside my door – the rabid and frothing crowds of shoppers, with sleepless glazed eyes and desperate frenzy reacting with high levels of caffeine – makes me grateful to be alive and well in my home.
The sales are tolerable, I suppose, but not handsome enough to tempt me (to risk life and limb).

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Blogs and Barbers, Fairy Wings and Sparkly Fangs

While under the influence from influenza and fever, TaraFly shares her thoughts on the movie adaption of Sweeney Todd, her son’s decision to wear fairy wings, the pressure to be an “expert” and SEO obsessed, and the power of emotional vampires. You might need medicine, too, after reading this…

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I Can’t See the Forest Through the Trees

Even sticking to the slow lane on the interstate isn’t enough to save me from crazy lunatics and impatient wannabe Nascar drivers. They blame me for clogging the road, and I blame Ford for inventing these motorized death-traps, when we’d all be safer driving carriages powered by real horses. I’ve often thought it would be nice to eliminate highways and major roads altogether, and return to the good old days of wagons and stagecoachs… except that I do appreciate how technology has brought convenience into my life. Can anyone say 24 hour supermarkets?

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Metamorphosis into a Domestic Butterfly

Usually when I’m under stress, I escape into a creative zone and avoid anything work related. That includes a boycott on domestic chores in favor of a good novel, a melodramatic mini-series on BBC, or an afternoon spent painting and “crafting”.
Ironically, now that my artwork is beginning to find its market and sales have increased, what was once an outlet to escape from work has now become the work.

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Disgusting People With A Little Help From Regretsy, known for its infamous roasting of certain Etsy artists – the ones who sculpt customized vagina necklaces and crochet (“crotchet”) penis sock puppets,
– had finally stumbled across my humble storefront and found gross delight in my “Kittney Plays the Field” digital painting.
I should have seen it coming, and no doubt stayed hidden under the bed…. but I knew when I created Kittney that she might cause a stir.

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Felis Philodendron – The Cat Who Grew Into A Plant

However, she was never much of an animal person. Pets required too much maintainance. She didn’t want an animal that needed to be cleaned, walked, fed, or groomed. She likes cats in theory, but not in practice. She finds them attractive, provided they remain a decorative accessory. Something to brighten up a windowsill, that will sleep quietly all day and soak up sunlight, and require infrequent watering…

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One Artist’s Anti-Home Tour

What I would like to see on a design blog? A home that looks well-worn and lived in. How about an interview with a designer or artist who fights to maintain balance, and whose home is a reflection of that internal struggle… because I can’t be the only person on this planet who feels overwhelmed trying to keep up with Ms. Craftypuss and Mr. Artsypants, or am I??
Just in case the reporters come calling, though, I might use the spilled maple syrup to super-glue some pottery to my bookshelves. I’ll throw a knitted afghan over that stain…

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