As I get ready to write this blog, there is a commercial playing on the television behind me. I generally tune out the steady feed of Nickelodeon, but this one caught my ears. It advertised a brownie pan with an insert that cuts perfect, square slices.
My first thought: No way! When I bake sweets, the best part is cutting my first slice. I can make it whatever shape and size I want. So when family members come into the kitchen, and exclaim, horrified: “Half the cake is gone!” …I can plead my innocence:
“Well, I only had one piece.” Bwahahaha!
One piece that might’ve weighed 2/3 of a pound, but still…. Baker’s Rights! :P
I’ve been keeping a low profile on the Etsy forums until recently. Sometimes all the social back-stabbing and drama puts me in a sour mood, so I shut off the internet for a couple days and retire to the insanity of my own family. Well, except that since Joe has become obsessed with Facebook games, the only time I can get his attention is to send him a Baby Elephant on Farmville.
Our worlds have evolved differently in the last few months, as I’ve transitioned into a stay-at-home Mom and artist, and he continues to slave away in retail management. I usually enjoy hearing his stories of stupid shop-lifters and new corporate implementations that are supposed to move the company forward, yet seem to set everyone back hours in extra labor… Home Office decisions ALWAYS crack me up, because those air-conditioned office rats have no clue what is going on in the field… do they run tests on virtual Sims stores? Or are they too busy chatting on Twitter and Facebook.
Anyway, since I gave in to his suggestions and started “farming”: planting and harvesting fake crops, for thousands of fake dollars, to purchase a fake plantation house, and equipment to make the fake harvesting more efficient…. Joe and I actually have common ground (besides the children). We have serious discussions over which crops are more profitable, and make long-term plans for expansion and how to spend our earnings.
The sad part: you can actually pay REAL money to help establish your farming empire… but who on earth is going to pay $40.00 to build a fake manor on a game that crashes from server overload every couple days?
Well… I’m finally seeing a light at the end of my recent tunnel of funk-feeling, and visited the Etsy forums in search of light humor and intelligent adult conversation. My first night back, I stumble across a serious faux-pas in the Etsy world, a “calling-out” where someone discusses an unfavorable transaction in public.
I sit and watch in amusement as this person quickly buries themselves in the scorn and ridicule of their peers, waiting for the Administrators to barge in, swords waving, to Lock the Thread (which keeps people from posting but NOT reading, as the thread remains public forever). It took them 82 whole pages! A few pages into the post, it turned from admonishment of the poster, into a free-for-all – crude humor, spontaneous sales, and a countdown that rivaled Y2K. Waiting for the Lock…
Such posts, commonly referred to as “train wrecks”, are common and great for laughs! Although that poor seller will be forever branded by the humiliation; nobody will look at his “painted tree rings” the same way again!
I scored a deal on handmade soap from HeathensHearth, using the code “tree rings”! So now I get to play with Fresh Grass (scented) soap.
WHoo hoo! Isn’t cut grass an aphrodisiac? Honey, let’s get farming!
My own bad experience with glitter came in the form of a slinky black dress that I purchased for a former beau’s office party. It was a lavish affair (the party, not the relationship) and we wanted to impress his superiors; well my impression was certainly lasting! Shimmery cheek impressions on the fabric dining chair seat.
The thread recounts tales of horror – from HannahsSupplies, who found glitter and packing peanuts stuck to her mail-ordered cheesecake (the seller blamed the mailman!!) to
PeaceBlossomStudio, whose acrylic, pink fingernail came off and stuck to her rear during Christmas Mass.
Unemployeddesigner described the thread as
“a blended bag of funny all rolled in peanutbutter scented glitter packing peanuts stuck on someone’s butt with fake nails”.
Quite a tongue-twister to say out loud, but I’m going to practice! It such a cute way to describe any humorous situation.
“OMG! That YouTube video was as funny as peanutbutter scented, glitter packing peanuts, stuck to your butt with a fake fingernail!”
Well. It’s lunchtime. For dessert, does anyone want a HUGE, un-square slice of mulberry-scented lemon cheesecake?
How about topped with glitter and packing foam?
Well, fine by me. There probably won’t be any leftovers anyway.
*burps Easter grass*
Ooops. Excuse Me.