My Blog Journal


Loading

Super Bowl Madness

Fire breathing cat dragon of Notre Dame, art by TaraFly

Fire breathing Dominic reigns with terror over Paris.

 

My adolescence was free from the influence of sporting events. In our household, there was no such thing as “The Super Bowl”.
If you would’ve mentioned the letters “E.S.P.N” to my former self, my response most likely would’ve been:
“Extra sensory perception… but what’s the ‘N’ stand for??”

As an adult, I understand that this is a sporting channel on TV, but I’m still unsure about the abbreviation’s meaning. 

My family members were nerds, computer geeks, and creative types (writers/artists)… I think my mother may have played volleyball one year in high school, but she doesn’t dwell on it.  She talks mainly about playing flute in the school band.

The closest thing I came to the playing field was my stint as the school mascot. My class voted me into the position as a practical joke, because our mascot was feline and my cat-obsession was legendary!
I was proud to don the costume – school spirit be damned.

To sum it up: I’m extremely unqualified to plan our grocery dept’s massive assault on “Superbowl Weekend”.

The last few weeks, I’ve been relying on information from company directives and male associates.  What I’ve determined is that “Super Bowl” is the equivalent of Thanksgiving or Christmas in some households.  The hordes of folks shopping for groceries is akin to the countdown leading up to T-day. Like Sunday marks Thanksgiving II: Revenge of the Tostito.

Perhaps it was a joint conspiracy by Frito Lay and Pepsi Co., because they were overlooked by more traditional holidays.
I’m extremely surprised that the government hasn’t declared it an official holiday, and calendars haven’t be re-printed to include it every year. Let’s give the kiddies an additional excuse to take a week off school!
(I missed all this excitement in my store last year… blessed maternity leave)

Actually the similarities between Super Bowl and the two top-ranking holidays are striking!

At Thanksgiving/Christmas, you might serve turkey or ham…. S.B. you serve hot buffalo wings. Although according to www.Chowhound.chow.com (motto – “for those who love to eat”) some people are going crazy with their menus on “this pivotal date on your culinary calendar”…

One member (Dinsdale45) describes his plan to serve: Clam Fritters, Baked Duck Spring Rolls, SE Asian Ceviche, Chicken Tikka Masala Meatballs, Shredded Sichuan Ma La Chicken, Bulgogi Beef tips …among many other delicacies. Holy Guacamole!

I suppose Chili beans would replace the more stuffy (traditional) stuffing on the roster. Dips and salsas in lieu of cranberry sauce.
Cheesy potato skins win out over yams. And, of course, the beverages (although bubbling) are decidedly in favor of beer and soda, instead of wine and juice. (This is where Pepsi and Coke get their paybacks for the neglect!)

Family and friends from miles around gather in front of the widest-screen TV affordable to worship their favorite teams with religious fervor.

You might say American Football is, in fact, a new religion.

It’s based upon pantheons of Romanesque gods, minus the ladies, and celebrated in a great Colosseum. The fellowship of gatherers before and during The Big Game might resemble a liberal church service, with a helluva lot more swearing… there are times of songs and praise, of prayers and reflection, judgements and inspiration. You can tell a believer just by looking into their eyes, where the zealous fire burns.

It’s all baffling to me, as a person who has only witnessed these events as a hostage in my own house. It’s as if the evangelists came knocking on your door, but instead of politely turning them away, they capture you and tie you to a kitchen chair (the recliner’s theirs, baby!) and force you to hear the message.

I don’t understand the obsession with watching groups of men running a few yards back and forth across the grass, and tackling each other in mobs – causing injury – over a stuffed pigskin. 

Others don’t understand my obsession with cats, either, but I don’t host huge Cat Celebrations every year and drive the grocery manager nuts.
Perhaps I should!

Fortunately my current partner is a computer geek, like my family, so he doesn’t subject me to this craziness. I wonder how he would react to an upcoming Cat Celebration? LOL

A woman came into the store a week ago, and inquired about the location of a giant jar of salsa. I showed her where it was, and she thanked me in a manner quite unusual: “Bless you, dear! This was exactly what I was looking for!”
I wasn’t sure if it was the beginning of Super Bowl fever, or perhaps the afterglow of Obama’s inauguration, which made her so jubilant.

All I can wonder is, should I begin planning displays of weight-loss ideas (like we did for New Years) for those who gorged themselves over the weekend on Chicken Tikka Masala Meatballs and cheesy potato skins?

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: